This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My vagina just recognized that song.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize