I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
