I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
