Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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