i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
