We won't sleep together?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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