my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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