so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
