billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
