I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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