farters have to be the big spoon...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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