Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
