Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My hand turned me down
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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