And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
