I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
