This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
