Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
