Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
