Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
