so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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