We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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