Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
