I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.