before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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