he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sext me about skeletons
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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