tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
