Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
