Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
