Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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