I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
