He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You can't special order awesome
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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