I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
