Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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