i think i have two assholes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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