that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
