Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
