Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize