My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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