ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
