she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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