just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize