its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He shit in the fireplace
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
