In the future we'll all be gay
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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