Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
