so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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