very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
