I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
