Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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