He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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