some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize