I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I FOUND THE LEGS
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
