Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
