Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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