You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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