yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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