On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
