More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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