What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
