I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
